Disempowering the Disempowered

8.08.08 was supposed to be a 'great' day. Not in our case. I attended to the needs of a young woman who was battered by an uncle. We went to the Infirmary hoping that she could access free medical services to support her case. Nope! every step of the way, we have to pay a corresponding sum. Even for a single mefanamic medicines which have been given for free has to paid! The worst came when we have to ask for a medico-legal certificate from a "national" something hospital. Guess what? The woman has to be exposed once again to an x-ray which she has just recently underwent an hour ago because the present doctor cannot "read" the x-ray film of the first health unit. I did not accede to that request because the woman is breastfeeding her child. As a hindsight, I was thinking what could have been the proper time "empowering" interventions should have been done. The woman told me that their barangay captain even requested her to deny that her abuser was present or can still be found in the area so they can have some sum from the congresswoman. Another incident of dis-empowerment was when a female doctor even asked: "nakipagbugbugan ka ba?" Whew! i coould almost feel my tears rolling down for this woman. How can this insensitivity abound in places where they are supposed to heal and cure patients? The last incident was when we asked once again from a national hospital for the same medico-legal certificate. The female doctor also proudly said: we cannot possibly give you that because it was almost a week since the incident. That was my breaking I told the woman, "we better find another option..." As i was riding on a jeep, I cannot contain anymore my tears. I thought these women mustered their courage and overcame their poverty and everything just to say "I was abused!" but nobody wants to give her a single piece of paper which she can possibly hold on to file a case against her abuser. What about those who were abused way back several years and only now that they have come out to say they were abused? How can they access justice and healing? Yes, my heart still pulsates...I know I have a very long journey to walk or run perhaps to be able to change this kind of thinking...

"Boses" (Voices)

My women friends invited me to a premier showing of a cinemalaya film. Actually, I knew beforehand that a male friend was involved in that film. So, without knowing the storyline, i already guessed that it was about children and music because those two things are dear to his heart. When the movie opened, the first scene already struck me. The father was being interrogated as to whereabouts of his own child (boy). My heart was pounding when the camera drew close to a sort of cabinet. And that was the beginning of engagement in the movie. Goose bumps arose when I saw pockets of cigarette burns on the boy's back and skin. He was delivered to a shelter where he met a supportive friend (girl) and a bully (boy). The friendship developed while the bullying intensified. Audiences at my back (students) made fun of the friendship by turning it into some sort of 'puppy' love; so they twittered as the scenes of 'getting to know you' were shown. Perhaps, i surmised they just do'nt want to feel sad for the boy. Onyok, the boy's name, was mute. He suffered from throat trauma because something was forced to it (according to the film). I guessed it is more of psychological trauma than physical (insertion of something). Remember that the boy always hide inside the cabinet whenever his father got angry and looked for him. The fact that one has to suppressed one's tears and even any sound coming from the mouth and nose will surely caused 'trauma' to the organs. Another thing that seemed 'wrong' about the plot was when the father was able to visit the child in the shelter. This is a 'no-no' among shelters especially the father was the abuser. The shelter and the administrative office are usually separated (geographically). Though i gave it a benefit of the doubt. The movie was so moving that I was also in tears while watching it, from the beginning up to the end. What I missed or the movie missed was the point when the father really underwent a 'real' change. Of course, it showed that the father persistently visited the boy in the shelter. But outside of that, no scene of how 'internally' he acquired that mode for change was depicted. Though the movie excellently depicted the boy's memories of how he was abused by the father and how he was able to differentiate a 'good' and 'abusive' touch. The role of Ariel, the crazy man, was terrific. When the boy and Ariel performed duo in violin, it was heavenly! The scenes on Ariel and his former deceased wife were neatly woven, i love it! The movie's contribution, i believe, is its alternative imagining of a father's role. Perhaps, it is a long journey for most abusive fathers i knew...but it's worth the try (though the movie failed to show how the father arrived at the point in his life).

A second look at women's dynamics

The first time i witnessed a group of women fight each other (literally hitting each other) was in 1995. This time the same situation arose between my co-workers. I was unable to do anything to stop one from hurting the other (though verbally). So, what i did was to listen to the one left behind. The next day, i also talked with other women in the office who witnessed the verbal infightings. The following day, I spent some time with one of them, threshing out the roots of their conflict. Funny, because it was not due to 'negative past encounters'. It was more of an emotional thing: one rejects the other in their first encounter. Then, I also spent some time with the other party. The other woman was pointing to 'professionalism' and 'ethics' as issues sans the emotional thing. Between them, the latter was more straightforward in saying what she feels. the former was more of the 'demure' type or one who does not show her feelings publicly. Afterwhich, yesterday we had a meeting (formal one) among us. i was at the middle. guess what happened? i was so afraid that the meeting would never take off because of the contention if it must be taped or not. Of course, just to let the meeting proceed, we did not tape it. For the simple reason that one wants to bring home the tape and transcribe it (using the term 'professional transcribers). Fortunately, the other party gave in. So, she did not respond violently to the following remarks: "I am pulling ranks"; "I am the coordinator, I will the parameters; if you don't want to obey, you can consider your options". I never imagined hearing those threats from a woman leader. I tried to resist the urge of arguing because I knew that was not our goal. Our goal was to move the unit forward so that we can proceed with our job or service to other women. If we will argue with her, it will hamper our day-to-day operations. So, at the close of the meeting, we produced SOPs of doing things. A second look at this kind of women-to-women dynamics also bring me to a deja vu because this was the same dynamics that I faced then; but now, I knew enough: 'quitting' the post is not a sustainable solution to the 'power' problem. It pays to stay and strategize of how the surface the 'truth' or wisdom of leading people, particularly women, in a more creative, open, and expansive ways. Kudos to both of us and may the Force of truth be with us and for those who dare to imagine different ways of handling 'normative' lifework like running a group of women...

Two Different Gatherings

I was at the Capitol estates area in Commonwealth listening to the speeches of progressive groups during the SONA. I walked past over the bridge leading to Sandiganbayan. I also walked up the overpass and guessed what I saw? Planks of military men in different uniforms (light blue, dark blue, all black, dotted, etc). And when I gazed at the street leading to Congress, not even a single activist was there marching on the streets. The military was very successful in controlling and cordoning the masses. But the distance between the masses, the military and Gloria speaks of how far this government is from the people. Hope Gloria rethinks her position of using the military to the hilt just to extend her term...

Contrast this with another gathering that I attended today. Lots of students converged to learn about the Japanese culture: sushi, kimono, ikebana, calligraphy. There was also an alibata session at the sides. People were so happy learning and sharing about each others' culture. i found out that my name means "elegant" and that the ikebana arrangement must always reflect a 'triangle' shape; as to why, I can only surmised that it is a more stable shape. Another observation I had was the expansiveness principle of Japanese flower arrangement. It creates a sense of openness and welcoming spirit to anyone who sees the flowers. Perhaps, our leaders can learn something from these two different gatherings; though they may be of different nature-- at least it tells us that the more the spaces are open for participation, the more creative people can become. And life becomes more meaningful for both the 'leaders' (facilitators) and the 'led' (participants)...

Men's Realities

We had a three-hour GST at the Ipil dorm. About 30-50 young men attended this late night session. Three intriguing questions cropped up that made me realised there were realities uniquely from men's perspective. First, one young man observed that it was "fair" to debar Nancy Navalta from joining the women's run since she is a hermaphrodite. Another added it may be due to the hormonal secretions that made Navalta a more advantaged player compared to other women athletes. While their observations may present 'half-truths', the fact that Nancy was raised as a woman should have qualified her to run for the women's division (since there was also no competition level for 'transgendered' people). So, it must have been unfair for Nancy to be barred from the sports competition. Second observation was in a man-man intercourse, the penetrated might be the one who is exploiting the penetrator. This is in the context of rape. The law on rape stated that the penetrator is guilty of the crime, so this only pertains to women's rape. Men's rape is another reality that must be exposed. But nobody wants to stand up and point out that "hey, we men are also vulnerable to sodomy" which is a crime in Muslim countries. Third observation was about sexual harassment. A graduate student asked if sexual harassment that happened not in educational or work setting can be considered as such. We had a case where the professor invited his student to a party where the student was introduced as his boyfriend ( a lie). Will this incident constitute an SH case? Of course! but the excludes such setting. Another recent incident was when a first year woman was sexually harrased by her co-passenger in a Katipunan jeep plying from UP to Katipunan. Will this also constitute an SH case? The fact that the harasser is non-UP excludes it from the law; another fact is that it involves verbal abuse ( a less grave act). So, our recourse was to file it under Child Abuse law. But if the law covers even public harassment, all those incidents of gender violence maybe easily filed. It is high time the law must be expanded or redefined, for the sake of all genders.

A Day of Revelations

Yesterday was something special for our friend and 'boss' Sario and for me: it was a day of revelations! It was my first time to hear about the "alims" of Ifugao. Alim, according to Sario, is a ritual sang by all-male singers/chanters to heal a sick member of the community and for 'wooing' a woman. It depicts the story of a husband (name of whom I forgot) and his wife, 'bugan'. That name sounds familiar because it was the character played by Ai-ai in 'Kapitan Kidlat' TV series. So, Bugan wanted to separate from her husband which the latter resisted so much because he love her very much. So, to his dismay he went on a head-hunting streak (popular during those times) to vent out his anger. Another version of this is he chopped the grasses in Bugan's garden. What interest me most was Bugan connived with her mother-in-law to be able to separate from her husband. and it took her eight separations or partners before she succeeded in having a child. That was sexual freedom during those times! Ifugao women can separate from their husbands and found another family or partner. The husbands do not also engage in finding other wives (in their local places because they can be traced and punished) but visited lots of places to have sex with 'kabulean' (prostituted women). Perhaps, they were freer during those times. Another interesting aspect is there were several men who were dressed up in women's clothes and danced like women (transgendered). If these rituals depict the context of their times, truly, women were a lot freer to choose their partners and men have also choices like being transgendered people. Then, i looked up the meaning of "alim" in my Arabic book. Its says, one can become an "alim" if she or he has no more secrets in his/her hearts and soul. Thus, he or she becomes a luminous being. So, those rituals perhaps if the origin of the word is Arabic may truly depict the secret yearnings of both men and women to have choices in terms of choosing their identities or sexualities. And it is a continuous process that rendered Bugan eight or nine times of separations before she was able to find a 'right' partner to bear a child. Or the man in turn shifted from being a violent man to a gentle dancer and found that transformation more humane (just speculating). Hearing those community rituals makes me think that ideologies which are embedded in oral traditions can easily be changed just by mere rendering of various versions of the story. And here media can do a lot in transforming our society's binary treatment of sexuality. As my colleague whispered, "Prescy, your idea of sexuality as expression of creativity is historically-based". If I may add, indeed the highest force/form of creativity is our expressions of sexualities.

Dynamic Meditation

At the Gender Office, we held a three hour session titled 'dynamic meditation'. Wow! it was really a revelation that there is such a thing as dynamic or moving meditation (of course, aside from the one that I was doing: running while meditating). We did a five-step thing that I thought were usual rooutines for some people but done in an exaggerated manner. First, we exhaled vigorously for 10 minutes using our nose/s. Second, we jumped with the heels touching the ground, while saying the word "Ho" (also for 10 minutes). Then, we contorted our faces while saying 'things greek to us' (like a little theater exercise. Then, we meditated (at last!) in a standing position (which I can't help but sleep). After that, we danced in different beats. All those exercises were back-upped with different sounds and music. The session wrapped up with some insights from the participants. My take was the same nauseous things came out of my nose and mouth (it was like my regression session 10 years ago) sans the tears. I thought these are the residual 'bad things' of the past memories. As I was doing those exercises, I was thinking still that these are good exercises for the kids and a useful and safety way of releasing tensions and other 'stuck' energies in the body. And late in the evening we did some drumming. Initially I enjoyed it but the loudness of the beating of other big drums led me to conclude that I would rather do those moving meditations I mentioned earlier. Hope we can offer these things to the women and children especially...