Thursday, July 9, 2009

Good and Bad Day

I was shocked when I heard the news that my 'nanay-nanayan' passed away early this morning. When we were in college, she used to cook our meals (me and best friend). She is actually a mother to me. I was in a dilemma whether to attend to her demise or continue with my lecture among students. The door give way to the latter. And I treasured every moment conversing with the students about gender issues in and out of campus. There was a question on whether it is a man's duty to give up her seat for a woman. I told him it depends on the mindset of the woman. There are women who still love gallantry but there are some who opt not to entertain that because it means one is accepting the societal thinking taht 'women are by nature weak'. Another question was about the image of UP as 'dumping ground' of 'badings' (gays). I told him what it is in 'bading' that makes them 'less of a man'. The problem with that is the 'stigma' attached to the term. But when one is a gay that has actualized himself into something that he really wants, we care no less of the 'label'. Another remark was about the 'stereotyping' of women-driven movies and how it fared less in the ticket booths. I answered 'yes', men are more valorized when they have more 'women' (mistresses) compared to women. That is 'double-standard'. Actually, I did not elaborate on the 'softie' movies vs. 'violent' movie stuff which characterize female vs. male stuff. I want them first to feel the issue as individuals.

In the end, I realized that this day is both a good and bad day: good that I stayed on because I learned the different issues boggling students' minds; but, in my heart, I really wanted to cry and embrace the family of my bestfriend because our 'mother's demise. Now, I know what it means to welcome life- al-jalal, al-jamal...

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