We had a half-day dance therapy session with Denjie Bareira last Sunday. I never thought it could affect me deeply. Perhaps, I was not prepared to encounter the issue that I've been avoiding: child sexual abuse. It created that heavy cerebral pain that I know was brought about by the opening or perhaps dismantling of my guard. As far as I can remember, since my father's death in 1997, I never had a good cry. So, this time, the dance pre-activity enabled me to get in touched with my innermost feelings. I was still shy or ashamed to burst out in tears. I rushed to the comfort room and poured my heart out. I knew deep in my soul, the child sexual abuse must be addressed and I myself must participate actively in it. I need that move for my own healing purposes.
The room was not spacious enough to be able to create bigger movements. So, I let myself moved within my arms' radius. I was amazed that one of the participants, we calle her "dancing reverend" moved very ruggedly. I can't do that! (the hiphop dance) Another interesting move was the 8-shaped belly dancing. How I wish I can those moves every now and then. Of course, it's always up to me to give the material time for me to savor the pleasure of dancing (but at present I'd rather do the 'inner' dance)...
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